Isolation, Mistakes, & Restructuring: Reflections on Saturn Retrograde

Saturn has been retrograde since June. What has been restructured for you since then?

For me personally, Saturn has been traveling and retrograding over my natal sun and north node in Aquarius.

Saturn only joins your sun once every 28 years or so (give or take), so I’ve tried to be present for the lessons that come up. Saturn rules my chart and has been my greatest teacher.

At first, it was easy to see my shine, vitality (sun) be limited and restricted (Saturn). I gave birth during a Covid surge, in the dead of winter. I didn’t see many people and the things I love and do for myself have seriously been put on hold for this child. I’ve felt more isolated and restricted than ever but that’s slowly changing.

What I’ve come to find out is that this limiting has actually been a restructuring. A reorganization of what’s important and what makes me shine - because although this baby has limited the things I can do and places I go, you can’t underestimate his ability to make me shine in brand new ways.

As I dive into parenting (a very Saturnian concept), the idea of authority has been strong. I'm realizing that, even if I don’t feel like it, I am this little babes authority figure. He is going to look to me for his way to be in the world. I shape his reality more or less for the first few years of his life.

This got me thinking about authority figures in general. How we easily look to “experts” these days to solve problems, to save us. But in the end we’re all just humans trying to make our ways and we will mess up, we will make mistakes, we will give the wrong advice.

When we put authority figures in our lives on a pedestal: teachers, doctors, parents, etc, we take away their humanness and we give away the power to be your own authority - to save yourself.

My little one doesn’t have the capacity to step into his authority just yet. It’s important that I have the awareness that I show him what it means to be human, to make mistakes, and to claim them as a part of what makes me stronger not weaker. A person who learns from their mistakes and can admit they were wrong is more of a master than trying to appear perfect.

Because in a way, mistakes are little ways that we can restructure ourselves, our knowledge, our skills. Integrating the wisdom that comes from making a mistake may dull your shine in the moment, but in the long run makes you wise and experienced.

So here’s to all the ways you may feel uncomfortable, limited, out of your comfort zone or like you totally messed up. It’s a restructuring and it’s here to make you stronger.